Every Jokes

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Did u know a erasor on a pencil slowly dies of your mistakes and did u know your actually supposed to live for 25 min but every time u breath resets time

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Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: Do you have chocolate filled ice cream? The man replies: We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one? Johnny replies: Sure. After that the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later the man comes with a ice cream and Johnny's phone. Johnny asks: How much for the ice cream? The man replies: Nothing, its on the house. After Johnny ate hes delicious ice cream, he searched for hes watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

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There’s so many protests. Every time I see my body my choice, I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity then the SantaFe school shooting?

Cause Royal Weddings dont happen every week.

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My grandpa died during world war II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have every seen. RIP.

*Say I'm a man after every sentence* You walk into a bar. (I'm a man) You find a girl . ( I'm a man) You take her home.(I'm a man) She whispers in your ear.(I'm a man)

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."

"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

When every you wanna roast a orphan say -yo mamma-

Among us is a game (skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill every one, do this sound similar on September 11, 2001...

People might not laugh to my jokes, or have a reaction at all, But I'd explode with euphoria. Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.

1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.

From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

Mr.Smith lived in an apartment. in the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. why did he do that?

because he was too short!! so he pressed the highest button he could and went to his apartment