Every jokes
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.
I’m in catholic school.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
Girls Are Yummy Stupid
Are Really Erectable
Tasty Honey Ejaculable
Booty Everything Sucking Titties
Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.