Why was the stair case so sad? Because every one walks on them.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used too, but don't anymore.
Person: why'd you stop?
Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on fathers day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I would roast you, but your mirror does every time you look into it.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout
Because every time they scan it scans twice.
Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.
For orphans every bag of chips is family size
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get the open a shop on it!
Why can’t Indians play football...... cause every time they take a corner they make a shop
Why don't Indians play soccer? -Coz every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Every wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
The made the toys
The school shooter: I finally found you worthless crybabies!! The Quiet Kid: How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same? The school shooter: I don't know. The Quiet kid: When you pull them out every body wants to be your friend.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet
