Every jokes

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?

They egg-xercise every day!

Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.

You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".

Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."

1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.

From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Why’s BBC called BBC?

The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

Every candy bar is family sized.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.

If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.