Every jokes
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?
Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!
Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle except for Cancer.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.