Entire

Entire Jokes

I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.

why wasn't the infant's entire body found

because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W

So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guys leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.

'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.

And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'

To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'

To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'

The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:

"Hello please divert to 5°East to avoid collision. Thank you." The commander starts answering: "No you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!" "Sorry sir You are the one who should divert to 5°East! Over! "Listen to me you asshole! We are the USS Washington and we have an entire fleet at our disposal and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!" After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again: "In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"