Depression

Anonymous

I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions…

Puns

Anonymous

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.

Man

suckonmepeen

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a Shitzu.

Ear

l en ny

did you ear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? well, he’s dead.

Existence

Billy Gayes

You want a joke. My entire existence.

Chair

Red Neck Idiot

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck’s house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn’t easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.

Computer

Halima

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

Legs

Muffin Enthusiast

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, “I’ll have the usual”.

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human like structure, muffins lack brains which are an essential part to being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak. Thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

Air

Anonymous

My entire existence

Wife

Quantum Isx

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter, as I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set and the entire animal shelter was burned down. A few hours later I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why, I replied “I couldn’t find any” She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?

Baby

Anonymous

Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center

Sister

Anonymous

Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and the begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down the the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, loling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more. When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying,” Linda your just as amazing at fucking at your sister.”

Die

diabeetes

When I die, I want my body to be cremated. And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!

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