Event jokes

I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!

Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!

I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

Why are school shootings branded “very American”?

1. They usually happen in the USA.

2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.

Sans: Why did the skeleton go to the party?

Papyrus: Why?

Sans: 'Cause he was too fat and ugly!

Papyrus: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA LOLOL,OLOLOL

Louie being born.

"9/11 was just a really intense game of Jenga."

What is the difference between 9/11 and Clash Royale, lol?

Clash Royale still has a tower.

How do you call a very long terrorist?

9/11.

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

This is why they don't want to sell the Double Manhattan in pubs anymore.

Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.

My friend: How?

Justin: Justin!

This will happen in your future, though, now because you're mean.

Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?

Because it was Halloween!

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

Gloves!

JK, he hasn't opened it yet.

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?

Because they can't get a parent's signature.

Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.

What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?

"Happy Death-Day To You!"