Event jokes
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
65,000,000 BC
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
Why were the people in 911 devastated?
They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
You must have been born on the highway because that's where accidents happen.
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
9/11 Joke?
I give these jokes a 9/11.
For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.
I rate these jokes 9/11.
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
September 11th is the superior birthday because no one forgets it. #flexingonyoubitches ;)
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.