Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."
Joe: "Bi den"
Joe Jokes
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santaβs lap.
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
Best political joke... Joe Biden.
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
My name is Joe Biden, and I forgot this message.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.