"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
what do you call it when you get married in panera bread
panera wed
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!
Why was baptism invented. How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception? He toasts the groom
My mom said i need Jesus in my life, So I drunk up the holy water ;}.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
At every funeral it's a try-not-to-say-big-mood-challenge for me
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
You're the type of person to play girl on fire during a funeral
Hey did you know that 9/11 won a grammy?
Yes best comedy award.
COME MY CHILDREN TO THE BREAD CULTT
Spray and pray, also known as a priest with an altar boy
My Relatives Always Teased Me During Weddings saying " You'll Be Next " But they Stopped when I did the same to them during Funerals
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park .
