Event jokes
Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a giant spoon to the Super Bowl.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
SpongeBob did 9/11.
Why is 6 scared? Because 7 8 9.
Why is 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
What time is it when you get home?
I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.