Event jokes

Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.

What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered Domino's and got "gets".

Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.

Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

How do you start a rave?

Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.

Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.

Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

I'm just gonna say it, and don't get offended, but I'm so sick of the media being on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

Yes, women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth, etc.

But men have it pretty hard too, if not harder. Males are criticized for showing emotions.

Men have to go to war on the front lines.

Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer, meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

Man-rape is unheard of in the media, and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

We are expected to gather up our guts [and] ask a girl to be their girlfriend. We have to take them on dates, pay the bill, [and] buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months' worth of the money the man has made.

And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

It's because most males do not want females to get hurt, yet we are criticized for this.

I propose an idea that on the 19th of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work, etc.

Who's going to put out all the fires? The two "firewomen" at the local fire station? Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?

Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.

(This event can be done worldwide.)

Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

(I'm not against feminism; it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want, and never get criticized or face any consequences.)

September 11, bring your plane to work day.

In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."

What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.