Event jokes
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
What do you read on Halloween?
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"
The second plane, 🗿🗿🗿
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.
Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.
Yo mama so scary, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
9/11.
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.