Event jokes
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
Memes
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
What do you read on Halloween?
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
Who's the world's fastest reader?
9/11 victims. They went through 90 stories in 60 seconds.
Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.
The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to the Super Bowl with a spoon!
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.