Drink jokes
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
Champagne
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
Why drink water and not bleach?
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
Blake drinks Coke.
I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.
What do you call the worst feeling ever?
Drinking Big before Mini. :)
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."