Drink jokes

A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.

Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.

Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?

"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food

Why drink water and not bleach?

When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

Champagne

What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?

Milk, because no one came back with any.

"Police control! Have you been drinking?"

"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"

"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

What do you call the worst feeling ever?

Drinking Big before Mini. :)

You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.

Blake drinks Coke.

Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)

I can change a "t" into a "p," just drink it and wait a few hours.

I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!

I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.

Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.