Dont jokes

Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?

Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!

Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.

If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.

Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?

A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

Don't click the link.

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.

You know Africans don’t get seconds.

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

How many people fit in a tree?

I don't know, you tell me.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.