Dont jokes
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.