Dont jokes
What is a Mexican's favorite sport??
Cross country because they don't need to be in America. Mexico was made for them.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"
What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
Me: 911, I just killed someone.
Cops: Cool, we will not come.
Me: Why?
Cops: Don't admit a crime.
Phones: *Bang Bang*
Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.
Older boy: UNO reverse card!
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Why can't orphans go to Family Dollar?
'Cause they don't have a family.
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."