Disease jokes
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
What is Stephen Hawking's best side?
The left.
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
Stand? Wait. No.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Did you know one of the singers of YMCA had AIDS? Y-M-C-AIDS.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.