Disease jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
Did you know one of the singers of YMCA had AIDS? Y-M-C-AIDS.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
Your bitch has Covid-19.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Stand? Wait. No.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.