Disease jokes
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.
Like if you're not a gay.
Dislike if you're furry.
Repost if you HATE blacks.
Comment for VBUCKS.
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How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.