Difference jokes
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby? The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.