Disagreement jokes

Normal person: "I'm perfect!"

Goth person: "Nobody is."

What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?

I'mma cashew outside!

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.

Unless you force them the point.

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.

See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.

If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.

I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?

All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(

I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

Why can't religion and science agree?

Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.

Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.