Difference jokes
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family picture.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."