Difference jokes
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
What's the difference between ICE and ISIS?
One of them says their prayers five times a day.
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
What is the difference between Reform and Restore UK?
The Name.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
What is the difference between Benjah and Jesus?
Jesus walks on the water; Benjah wades through the water.
Yo momma so slutty, when she got a throat swab, the lab found eight different types of semen on her tonsils.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What’s the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
A straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-do!"
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do!"
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?
One is hope and the other is soap.