Difference

Difference jokes

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

Priest

What the difference between a priest and acne

Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face

Democrat

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"

His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."

So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"

She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"

The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.

The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.

"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

Cancer

It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!

Twin Towers

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

Michael Jackson

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

Dark Humor

"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."

Dark Humor

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.

Morbid jokes

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.