Difference jokes

What's the difference between Obama and Trump?

Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?

A knife has a point.

What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?

You can get on with a prostitute!

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.

What's the difference between Andy and acne?

Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

Kids won't eat broccoli.

What's the difference between a baby and a ball?

If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.

How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?

The blond survived.

What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.

What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..

There is none.

You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?

Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.

What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?

You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.

What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?

Oh... one comes back.

Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.