Difference jokes
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
Ayo Lucas, a sussy baka!
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
Memes
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What's the difference between Obama and Trump?
Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
What's the difference between MJ and myself?
Nothing at all.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.