Difference jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?

I don't worship Jesus.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in the garage.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

A dead baby can't feed a family.

What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?

I don't know, you tell me.

What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?

They're both crazy and now dead.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Ayo Lucas, a sussy baka!

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?

One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?

A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.

What's the difference between MJ and myself?

Nothing at all.

What's the difference between Obama and Trump?

Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?

A knife has a point.

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?

They both have to stay in the kitchen.

What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?

You can get on with a prostitute!