Die jokes
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Memes
You die. LOL!
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
Q: Why did the teacher die?
A: Because he hated his life.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
A man was sitting in the restaurant and ordered a whole buffet. He is visited by an oracle. Apollo says, "If you eat that buffet, everyone you love will die."
"Up yours," the man said, "What are they going to die of, famine?"
Moments later, there was an incident that took place in the restaurant. Everyone literally died. It turned out the restaurant had a B-. I said, "Is that really a thing groaning on the hospital?"
The doctor said, "Know that is your condition, you have hepatitis B-."
"What the FU***** SH**"
Apollo is sitting in Mount Olympus, dying also in laughter.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.