Die jokes
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.