Die jokes
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
They tried to make me laugh, but I was already DYING.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
If I die, does my depression die with me?
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.