I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I’m sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live." The man says " 10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?" The doctor calmly replies “Nine”
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, what’s so sad and she said “What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died”. I replied “probably a bullet”, she gasped and said “do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent’s heads”, I said " probably all the money their losing from this funeral".
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window…
If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will. Sadly, no pun InTenDid.
Old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says “The test results are back, and I’m sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer’s.”. The old man says “Phew! At least it’s not cancer!”
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
Husband: I bet you can’t say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest p.... out of all your friends
A cow is at his friend’s house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch)