Die jokes
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.