Die jokes
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
Memes
Juice WRLD really died, then how is he posting videos today?
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.
Air.
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?
Because he died in the Cross 😈
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT