Die jokes
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
as apart of this stupid state i can confirm not cold at all. (I was born in Ohio)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.