Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
How do you poop?
