Depression jokes

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.

When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.

I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

GTA 6

I got sad today.

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.

It’s called Trycoxagain.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?

Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.

Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.