Depression jokes
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
You're more depressing than your own abortion video.
When you're sad, don't feel down about yourself. Break a leg, and you'll forget all about it.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.