9mm jokes

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?

A 9mm.

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.

Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

How do Americans learn the metric system?

9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That's the best I've done so far.

How many times can 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”

That's the best I've done so far.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.

😐😑