9mm jokes

I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.

Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

What’s comes after 9 Millimeter?

39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.

1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.

How do Americans learn the metric system?

9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?

A 9mm.