Death jokes
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
I went to visit my friend's sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him, he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn."
Suddenly, right in front of me, he passed. Later that night, I translated his last words, and they were, "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don't have the Ferrari.
what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?
Answer: alive.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.