At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Death Jokes
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
End everything and your life, Steven Roca!
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
Wanna suck my dick?
No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
