Death jokes
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Memes
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
P.l.a.n.e.
Precious lord, are nonbelievers evil?
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.