Death jokes

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Cause he would never look both ways.

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To cut through traffic.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

What do you call a dead polar bear?

Anything, they can't hear you!

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

End everything and your life, Steven Roca!

Your Nan is dead.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.