Death jokes
Your Nan is dead.
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.