Death jokes

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?

Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.

October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?

A lazy bones!

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Beethoven composed his whole life.

What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Me die.

If George Floyd was in the new Little Mermaid: Under da knee Under da knee Counterfeit 20 Drugs I took plenty Now I can’t breathe

Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?

Because they never came home.

What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?

"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid

Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.

Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?

Dad: . . .

Guess whose parents didn't survive?

Liv's parents.

The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.