Death jokes
I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.
Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.
What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?
"Restore factory settings."
Stephen Hawking, rest in PC World.
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."