Death jokes
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.