Death jokes

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.

Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?

They don't have parents to protect them.

An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.

The death toll went sky high.

What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?

Well, they weren’t always orphans.

How many thots have I bullied?

Three. The rest are dead.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

Twin monks who ring the church bells died.

Now they are dead ringers. :)

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...