Death jokes
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
Stephen Hawking died when he ran out of data for the month.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
How did Steven Hawking die?
He blew a fuse doing an update.
Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
What would you do if you were killed?
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈