Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
Now their owner is dying.
HAHAHAHA
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?
One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
My dick is red.
Your pussy's pink.
It's really tight
When you're dead.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
