Death jokes
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because dad never came home with the milk.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"
I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home 😭💔
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
"Russian" twists into a ditch, dead!
I ate my mom.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.