Death jokes
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"
Man dies.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's passing!
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.