Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What do you call a pig that goes to the slaughterhouse? Technoblade.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
Technoblade never got a wife.
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Don't challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Why didn't the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.
I would kill for something to eat--the cannibal.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
Why don't skeletons play music at the church?
Because they don't have any organs.
Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear
Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"
