I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.
I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!
Death Jokes
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
These jokes make me want to die.
Where was Stephen Hawking buried?
In a black hole. 😂🤣
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
