Death jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make him clap until his parents come back.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.