Death jokes
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
When you throw paper at a hill, you can say, "Hey, look, it is like Kobe's helicopter!"
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.