Death Jokes

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?

She died the next weekend.

After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”

The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”

Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His computer got a virus.

He always comes back

An image shows a hand holding an Uno card that says "finally die OR draw 25". Next to it, a person with the head of Springtrap (a character from Five Nights at Freddy's) is sitting at a table with a deck of cards and a Sprite can. The person is wearing black sunglasses.

What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?

They never get old.

What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?

A Sandy Hook.

What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.