What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
How did Steven Hawkings die? His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery x
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
