Day jokes

What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?

Memorial Day.

Why?

Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.

Have a great day today!

I had the BEST day EVER.

1: I woke up.

2: I met someone I'm sad about.

3: I had fun and got them back again online.

But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD

What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?

I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.

I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.

I almost got run over by a car.

For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.

One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.

Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...

Good day tomorrow, and what day are they still good today? Good time. Love day! A great night time and...

I am gay, is that ok?

I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Why is 4/20 such an epic date?

Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)

One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.