Date jokes
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?
'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.
12/8?
It was 9/10.
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
Hello. Here's my story . An unemployed woman looking for love. I went on tindar because my friends were talking about it. I matched with a guy who asked me weird questions like if i could send pictures on my private areas, Being confident i said no.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
The Cheerio Joke
Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.
So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.
The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."
Why is six scared of seven? Because 7 8 9.
Then why was 10 scared? Because he was between 9/11.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
Why is 10 afraid? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.