Date

Date jokes

Date memes

Calendar

    • A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."

    Mama

    • Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

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    • Pen

    • I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭

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    • Butcher

    • "I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

    "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

    "I'm a butcher," he says.

    Friend

    • A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

    The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

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    • Advantage

    • Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?

    Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!

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    • Sex

    • A couple is on their first date.

    Man: How do you feel about sex?

    Woman: I like it infrequently.

    Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

    Marriage

    • A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.