Date jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Why do I f*** my mom?
Like father like son. #batabababa
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!
Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!
TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.
NOT A DATING WEBSITE
I don't want to date an alien.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!