Date jokes
I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
Why was 10 scared? Because of 9/11.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.