New Date Jokes

9/11 or just 7 eleven to a Mexican person.

Why are black women dating white men? So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father

I used to date this girl only to find out she’s guy. I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date? Hi, nice to meet you

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating survice, they ended up matching her up with pittsburgh.

How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?

If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.

Roblox Brookhaven be like

ABC if you wanna be adopted ABC if you wanna be my friend ABC if you wanna be a banker ABC if you wanna rob the bank ABC if you wanna date ABC if you wanna sex

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman? Getting her husband‘s voice just right

Hey there little Mister I’m dating your sister

Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?

This is not a joke. Stop online dating.

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

Dating 101

Heres what you do:

1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs aren’t. I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately... but I hope it’s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

How does Hellen Keller meet men? She goes on blind dates.

A couple is on their first date.

Man: How do you feel about sex?

Woman: I like it infrequently.

Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

I dated a furry once The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.