Date jokes
Men should pay for dates because women have to pay for expensive things like makeup because God didn’t finish their faces.
What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.
Why is ten afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.
What’s the difference between an Indian and an Arab?
One's responsible for 7/11, the other's responsible for 9/11.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in between 9/11.
Their family portrait is also a dating app.
Dating a German is great because they don't play mind games; they just provide a detailed, 40-page PDF explaining exactly why you are wrong.
I got kicked off Ancestry for asking if anyone wants to fuh.
I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when done with his black dates?
He dumped them.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.