Date jokes
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
Their family portrait is also a dating app.
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
Roblox Brookhaven be like:
"ABC if you wanna be adopted."
"ABC if you wanna be my friend."
"ABC if you wanna be a banker."
"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."
"ABC if you wanna date."
"ABC if you wanna sex."
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date? Because he was 2 squared.