Date

Date jokes

Skeleton

    • Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...

    I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.

  • 1

    • Man

    • A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

    The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

    The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

    The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

    The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

  • 1

    • Rape

    • What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

    She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

  • 7
    • Date memes

    Dad

    • Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!

    Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!

    Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!

    Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?

    Rape

    • Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.

  • 14

    • 9/11

    • Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.

    What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀

  • 13

    • Orphan

    • Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

    Because he thought that she would leave him too.

  • 5
    • Date memes

    Community talk

    • I hate my life lolz okay so even though I made a giant ass deal about it, im not les.. im.. close it's something called Homoflexible, it's kind of a weird name. Basically, its like pan with a huge preference. Like, id date 90% girls and 10% guys, genderfluid, and non binary. Sorry for making a huge deal, about it, sexuality is really confusing.. thoughts of being with men still kind of make me sick, but my brains willing to make exceptions, like... idk hwo to explain. its a rare thought, because i did think about it. how did i love alain so much if i dotn like guys? and some other factors too. Anyways, im still gay as fuck.

    • Everyone, a while ago i told Mal and comso and a few poeple i was lesbian. Cosmo told me im not, because I've dated men before. So because of that i thought maybe i had to like men, and i forced myself to. So i kept dating guys. Now, its weird, thinking of being with a guy just makes me sick in a way I can't understand. It donset sound appealing, i just... dont want it. I dont find attraction, or love to any of them … Read more

    Community