Dark Humor
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
You can hang the picture with one nail.
What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?
Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.