Dark Humor

Dark Humor

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

8

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag

One is made of plastic and bad for kids the other one holds shopping

(this is not mine credit goes to the grim joker)

What does a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make noise after you throw them

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me while he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.