Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled kids.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Whats long and black. The line to KFC
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
What’s a Pedophiles Favorite type of garden
A KinderGarden
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
My family is like treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
