Dad jokes

Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.

My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.

My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.

The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...

Your mom and your dad.

Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk.

2023- my dad is a cop.

1800- my dad owns your dad.

So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because his mom and dad are in every episode!

I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."

My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.

My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.

Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.